he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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