sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
