I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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