sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
only you would photoshop your dick
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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