i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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