Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
