I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
