The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
