He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
