those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
