he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
