why didn't you poke me back
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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