I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
