Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
