you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just tell him i said nine months
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
