Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
