ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
