no, he came in my armpit
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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