East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
