I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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