Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
