and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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