so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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