This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
