It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
