did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
