Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
