oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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