I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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