wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
