whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
don't judge my taste in strippers
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Randomize
