If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
