Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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