So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
His nipple licking is glorious
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