No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
