We're like a lot better than the average bears
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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