I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
