Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
