i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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