Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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