Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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