I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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