Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
