my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Shame - the story of my life.
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