i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
