would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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