The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
