I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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