I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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