Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
